Peaceable Man Files #54: Back to the Body Parts Store

Random musings on my vagabond existence in the Endless Mountains of Pennsylvania and wherever else life takes me.

It’s time to take this 65-year-old body back to the body parts store for some new equipment.

I went to visit the orthopedic surgeon earlier this week and he confirmed it. My arthritic right hip had deteriorated to the point where it was bone on bone.

“It’s a mess,” he said, pointing at the gray mass of the joint in the x-ray image. “We have two choices. It’s either surgery or we shoot you.”

One of the things I like about this doctor is his sense of humor. His name is Dr. Craft—a great name for a doctor, I think—and I’ve gotten to know him fairly well since he did my left hip replacement three years ago.

In addition to being an excellent surgeon, Dr. Craft is a very nice man. He’s personable and approachable. He takes the time to explain things in simple terms. He always asks about my mother, whose knee he replaced many years ago.

“I guess I’ll take surgery,” I replied.

He smiled and went about doing calculations on the machine. Because of the deterioration in the joint, my right leg was now about a quarter-inch shorter than my left leg. He would fix this during surgery, just as he did when he replaced my left hip.

In the end, I would have a new lease on life, Dr. Craft said, with two state-of-the-art titanium hips that should last me the rest of my life as long as I don’t do anything stupid like run marathons or attempt full-court games of basketball.

“No worries about that,” I told him. “My basketball days are over.”

I asked Dr. Craft if it was all the pounding from playing basketball in my youth that led to the current sorry state of my joints. He shrugged.

“It might have contributed some,” he said, “but it’s mostly genetics. It’s a gift from your parents.”

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

I must say that the thought of going back under the knife gives me no joy. But I remind myself how fortunate I am to live in an age when joint replacements can be done routinely and safely, using amazingly durable materials like titanium that meld with the human body and offer decades of wear.

I remind myself, too, that the recovery from my first hip replacement was amazingly fast. Within a couple weeks, I was walking Cassie and getting back on the tractor to mow the lawn.

Most important, I should be out of pain and be able to resume my active lifestyle. After six and a half decades of faithful service, my right hip has become unreliable. There are days when I can’t put any weight on it and I find myself hobbling around the house like an old man.

Which I am not. I may be 65, but I’m not old. I refuse to be old. My heart is strong (knock on wood), I have lots of energy, I take good care of myself with regular exercise and healthy eating. I enjoy fishing and hiking and walking about my property in Susquehanna County, Pennsylvania.

I want to continue to do all these things for as long as I can. To be active. To travel. To have adventures.

So it’s back to the body parts store for me. The surgery is scheduled for mid-July, if I can hold off for that long. If I can’t, it might even be sooner.

While I was visiting Dr. Craft, I told him about the pain I was having in my lower back and my right knee, owing to that whole side of my body being out of whack because of the hip. He told me my lower back pain would likely subside after the hip was fixed.

The knee, though, was a different story. From the looks of the x-rays, he said, my right knee was a mess as well and would need to be replaced down the road.

Fun, fun. Growing older is not for the faint of heart, my father used to say.

But first things first. The countdown to surgery and a new hip is on. In the meantime, don’t be surprised if you see me grimacing as I limp around the neighborhood.